Hope Denied

Bridgeport Mental Hospital

Benjamin didn’t quite know what to expect during his next session with Annabella.  She was visibly distraught yesterday after revisiting her strange and horrifying childhood.  Her memories gave him some inkling of what was going on in her house and she clearly illustrated her mother’s ill-disguised contempt for her.  He wasn’t sure if she would want to venture there again, but so many questions remain unanswered.

She had a groomed appearance that morning and seemed more relaxed.  She manages an almost welcoming smile when he enters the room.

“Morning Annabella.  How are you doing today?” He greets cheerfully.

She didn’t answer.  Just kept his gaze and her smile.

“May I?” He asks pointing to the empty chair he occupied yesterday.

“Please do.”  She says to him, now amused by the exchange of niceties, the smile grows another centimetre.

He smiles back at her and sits down.  He observes her for a moment.  She is good-looking despite the limp white state-issue nightgown that did nothing to flatter her. 

“You look pretty today Annabella”.  He remarks.

“I have my moments” is all she says and then the seriousness returns.

He notices the sudden change in her mood, which didn’t surprise him in the least.  Her disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood.  He was prepared for it.

“When can I go home Dr Drake?”  Her question ambushes him somewhat.

But he knew this question would arise sooner or later.  She didn’t commit a crime – technically.  An attempt on one’s own life does not fall strictly within the definition of a crime and unfortunately the City of Bridgeport would never fund a patient’s stay in any of its facilities longer than is absolutely necessary.  As soon as he submits a report indicating that she no longer poses a threat to herself or to anyone else he would have to discharge.  Treatment, if necessary, would then have to continue on a voluntary basis.  Benjamin doubted at this stage if she would agree to be treated as an outpatient - to confront feelings she’d buried away for so long will be a painful journey - he doubts if she is ready, willingly, to travel down that road.

“As soon as you are strong enough Annabella.  It was quite a shock you put your body through a couple of weeks ago … and I have to be sure that you won’t try something like that again.”  He says firmly.  “You understand that don’t you?”

She didn’t answer him and the vacant expression returns.

“Annabella.  I’d like to continue our conversation of yesterday.”  He says – skillfully taking the conversation into a different direction.

When she remains quiet, he continues.

“What happened after your mother fell down the stairs?”  He asks.  He knew she couldn’t have fallen to her death, because Annabella’s file indicated that her mother passed away in her senior year – after a long illness …  yesterday she mentioned that was only 15 years old. 

Loose ends drove Benjamin crazy.  He had to tie things up to a point where he could put things behind him and move on to the next case – and this case was far from being tied up.

“No doctor, she didn’t die that day if that is what you were wondering”. 

She made no attempt to hide her disappointment. 

He breathes deeply.  Another hurdle cleared he thought.  He just nods, and motions for her to continue.

She does.

“I called Graeme.  He took care of everything.  I didn't know what else to do.”

….

Twinbrook: 15 Years ago

“Your mother took quite a spill Annabella, she would have to undergo a hip-replacement operation. 

This means that she would have to stay in hospital for an indefinite time.  Do you have anyone that you can stay with while she is there?” Dr Kendell MacKenzie asks looking at Annabella sympathetically. 

He is Twinbrook’s local physician and most eligible bachelor.  She could never figure out why someone like him would even consider settling down in a town like this. 

“She will be staying with us Dr MacKenzie” Graeme Lagrange announces on his girlfriend’s behalf.  He steps closer to join the conversation between Dr MacKenzie and Annabella.

Kendell gives Graeme a condescending look. 

But everyone in town knows that Graeme and Annabella is an item.  They are constantly the topic of hot-gossip in Twinbrook and the fact that Graeme is two years older than Annabella makes for even spicier talk in a town where everyone knows everyone’s business – or at least they think they do. 

He didn’t like Graeme very much.  He couldn’t explain it.  But he knew his parents personally and had no doubt that Annabella would be safe there until she could return to her own home - that was his primary concern.

 “It’s settled then”.  Kendell replies thankfully.  “Annabella, I will update you regularly on your mother’s condition.  Would you like to go with her in the ambulance to the hospital?” he offers.
 

She didn’t want to.  She knew her mother wouldn’t want her to either.

Graeme again came to her rescue when she didn’t answer “I will take her to see her mother tomorrow Dr MacKenzie.  It’s been a long day.  It’s late.  I’m sure her mother needs to rest as well.”

It’s no secret to Graeme that Annabella and her mother didn’t get along.  In fact he knew that they pretty much hated each other.

Kendell nods.  “Very well then.  Annabella, I will talk to you tomorrow.  Get some rest.” 

And then turns to Graeme “Send your parents my regards Graeme”. 

He leaves Annabella and Graeme standing in the middle of the lounge.

They hear the ambulance and Dr Mackenzie’s car take off and for the first time today the house in Lake Street is quiet.

Graeme turns to her: “Bells.  It was an accident.  You can’t blame yourself for what happened.  She’s going to be okay.” He tries to comfort her. 

Annabella stared at him.  Amazed that he couldn’t see her disappointment.  And then she realized that she was wearing a disguise.  The mask of a monster so authentic and brilliantly disguised that nobody really knew what she had turned into. 

Come here.”  He pulls Annabella closer to him and puts his arms around her. 

“Everything is going to be okay” his comforting voice always makes Annabella feel safe – she almost believes that everything will be okay when he holds her like this.

“Bells, you’re shaking.  Are you cold?”

“Just hold me……  Don’t let go.” 

“I won’t let go Bells.  I’m here.  I won’t let you go.”